Creative Writing - Can I Have Some Feedback Please:
CREATIVE WRITING Discussion Deck

If ye would like to moderate the CREATIVE WRITING Discussion Deck, please drop becket@jollyroger.com a line.
CREATIVE WRITING & Creative Writing - Can I Have Some Feedback Please

DR. ELLIOT'S NORTH AMERICAN GREAT BOOKS TOUR--COMING TO A BOOK STORE NEAR YOU
[GREAT BOOKS: DISCUSS THE TRAGEDY OF DRAKERAFT.COM][Great Books Lovers Match]
[Physics Forums][Poetry][Shakespeare's Plays][Great Books][Open Source Business]
[Great Books Games][Federalist Papers][Poetry Contest][Classic eCards][Great Books Forums]

The new CREATIVE WRITING Forum is at jollyroger.com/greatbooksforums.
The World's Largest Literary Cafe: Carolinanavy.com
[JollyRoger.com Greeting Cards][JollyRoger.com Web Pages][JollyRoger.com Discussion Fleet][JollyRoger.com]
[Carolinanavy.com][Nantuckets.com][BusinessPhilosophy.com][Clicals.com][Quarterdeck]
[ Jolly Roger Live Chat][The Jolly Roger][KillDevilHill.com][Western Canon University]
[Federalistnavy.com Spirit of America][Starbuck.com Clical Poetry Port]
[ussconstitutions.com] [Free jollyrogermail] [Shakespearean Greetings]
[nantucketnavy.com][hatteraslight.com][Clicgreetings.com]
[SEARCH]


[Follow Ups][Post Followup][CREATIVE WRITING Forum Frigate] [The Jolly Roger]
[The World's Largest Literary Cafe: Carolinanavy.com]

Posted by Osh on November 03, 19103 at 17:57:07:

Clmates: The One When It All Began….again

JC: We are going to school
Jc’s Mum: Say we are going to school
JC: We are going to school
Jc’s Mum: Say we are going to school

JC: Cant wait mum, first day at my new school
Jc’s mum: Don’t worry chimm chimms, now before you go lets sing our goodbye song

Jc: I love you
Jc’s Mum: I Love You
Jc: Were a happy family
Jc’s: Now lets go and have a fun day
Jc: YAY

JC jumps out of the car and runs into school

JC sees 2 lads and starts waving

JC: HEEEEY Osh!!!!!....HEEEEY David!!!!

Otha side of room Osh whispers to David

Osh: do we really want him hanging around with us?
David: don’t worry we can copy his work
Osh: sorted

Outloud

Osh: Oi oi JC

From round the corner walk two other lads

Lad: Ben dig my lyrics
Ben: Westside Gaffer man
Gaffer: We are the s-it
Ben: say what
Gaffer: we are the sh-t, mess with us we fu-k you up, and we put a hit, on your motha fukka
Ben: Digg them lyrics man!

JC walks up to them

JC: Hey there im Jay Cee but my friends call me JC
Gaffer: Take a hike you pike
Ben: Yeh take a stroll you troll
JC: wow your rhyming
Ben: dude dats a criming
Osh: OH just shut up!
David: He’s Osh im David,
Ben: Im Ben, he’s a hen, nah he’s Gaffer the Jaffer
Osh: Cuz that makes so much sence
JC: A bit like this program………

A L walks past……….

Osh: DUDE did you see how much make up she had on!
Ben: It was like a cake set to bake but its been on to long and now it looks like a schlong
JC: whats a schlong
Ben: Your dad beat your mum with one
JC: My dad would never touch my mum
Ben: a lot of other people have……
JC: I’ll get them back then
David: I think her name was Suzie, my parents know hers, they warned me about her
JC: oh really?
David: her parents caught her with a dildo at age 11
JC: Whats a dildo?
David: A fish
JC:: whats wrong with it?
David: It’s a really tasty fish
JC: uh huh
David: You should have it for tea
Jc: I’ll ask my mum tonight

On the P.A

Rob: Hello I am your Head Master

David bursts into laughter

Osh:What?
David: he said head master…….as in master of head
Osh:oh

The Slag with to much make up puts her head round corner

Slag: Hey im suzie and don’t be saying that till you got it off me
David: get in there
Ben: She’s a slag, that looks like a hag, she’s sooo she’ll even shag vorny…
Osh: oi watch it

The Bell Rings

JC: Hurry we got to go to the hall for form pickings

The Hall

Rob: Good morning cl of 96
All: GOOD MORN-ING Misss-terrrr Roooob AAAArrrrrrrtiste alsoooooo knooooownnnnnnn sssssss efffff 1 1

Rob: Welcome To One Dream Elementary School, we hope you have a good 5 or 7 years here but trust me it will go fast just like if I was to explain to you the quantum physics of a rocket

Rob: Let me introduce you to our staff, First Dept Head Relim

Relim: Howdy
Rob: Relim is in his 73rd year of his career but he still keeps on going on. And now your, maths, science and English teachers, Ms Tiger, for science, Mr Jax for English and Mr Stillman for maths. Also our medical carer is Mr Blue McDoogle and for special occasions Priest Gorgeous George

Rob: I will now go down the form lists

In Mr Relims form we have

JC
Osh,
David
Ben
Gashead
Gaffer
Suzie
Simon
DV
JP
Blinky
DB
Stevey D
Maloney Gal
Bert
Jamie Bc
Kayls
Faith

Osh: well were in the same form..hmm im bored

Osh goes to sleep as Rob drones on about forms

Bell Rings waking Osh up

JC: HURRY HURRY TIME FOR CL
Osh: whatever

JC skips to cl while Osh and David walk

JC skips past Ben

Ben: Stop the Pace, mannn your acting like its some kinda race.


Cl

JC sits at the front, Osh and David walk in grab JC and pull him to the back

Osh: come on mate your doing work were copying

Ben and Gaffer come and sit next to Osh and David aswell at the back

Relim walks in

Relim :Hello I am Mr Heinshower Relim and I will be your Form teacher for the next 5 years, I’ll just take a register before getting started

Relim: JC
JC: Sir Yes Sir
Relim: Osh
Osh Sup
Relim: Ben
Ben: Oi oi
Relim: Blinky
Blinky :BLINKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYY

The P.a Goes off

Rob: As a special treat and part of my new science program, it is now a scheduled 20 minute break session

Outside

Osh: Not bad cl, that brunette in MJ didn’t look bad
David: that Maloney didn’t look to bad either
Osh: not my type
JC: that’s the guy who blew me a kiss earlier
Osh:The janitor

Blue: Hey kids, your new, wanna visit my closet?
Osh: no thanks maybe another day
Blue: I’ll make some extra time for you kiddo
JC: What about me?
Blue: Let me jus get my dildo
JC: hmm I wanna try some dildo
Blue: really?
JC: I heard it tasted nice
Blue: I’ve got sommat else dat tastes good follow me…………..


thankyou


Follow Ups:



Post a Followup

Name:
E-Mail:

Subject:

Comments: