www.jollyroger.com
1996 HALLOWEEN GHOST STORY EXTRA
Featuring:
BOOTSY "BOARD 'EM IN THE SMOKE" McCLUSKY'S
A Nantucket Ghost Story.
Sailing into the dawn of a brand new literary era.
Now Ferrying Over 10,000 to Greatness Each Month.
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For those of ye wishing to change yer address, walk the plank, or
sign aboard, check out our new docking station!
Free jollyroger.com Halloween Poster
1996 Halloween Extra:
Bootsy "Board 'Em in The Smoke" McClusky's "A Nantucket Ghost Story"
Introduction by Becket "Red Avenger" Knottingham
In about a week or two we'll be shipping ye our November issue featuring Captain Ahab's, "The Young Scholar as a Modern-day Hamlet." With the Western Canon murdered and Chancellors and Presidents sleeping with the postmodern psychology, the honest man's divine right to the academic thrones is endangered. This is not, and it cannot, come to good. Something's rotten in the state of academia, and while reading classics such as the Bible, we have been visited by ghosts of the Greats, calling upon us to avenge the gross inequities that have befallen them.
In the next issue we'll also be formally announcing the publication of Drake's collection of Shakespearean sonnets, THE AFTER DARK FIELD BOOK. For those of ye who are timid in spirits and meek in mind, now is the time to jump ship. Hurricane-force Northwesters rage through our November issue, and the contemporary Truth is expressed in a manner which condenses the postmodern fog, leaving a crystal clear view of the starred heavens, where ye shall glimpse eternity every time ye look up. If ye are the fundamentally dishonest type who lives their life hiding behind obfuscations, engaging in sullied temptations, now is the time to walk the plank, for the polar winds coursing through the next issue shall freeze yer naked postmodern soul and shatter it as if it were glass. Go directly to http://jollyroger.com/jollydock.html, and there ye will find the plank. Or send unsubscribe jollyroger to jollyroger@jollyroger.com.
It's kinda cool how all the petty political gossip and superficial
gestures which provide the mass media and the editorial and professorial
elite with their petty purpose and sanctimonious dignity shall so soon
fade away, while the profound, sailing in silent bliss, shall know
eternity. Such is the paradoxical nature of that which is born into this
world as a Permanent Thing-- so often it is castigated, scorned, and
ignored, but to become the cornerstone of tomorrow's institutions.
And the WWW has sped things up. Yesterday we were getting kicked out of creative writing class by postmodern resentniks, and today we're dominating the seven cyberseas aboard the world's largest literary frigate, along with over 10,000 ruthless intellectual buccaneers. The only role the vast postmodern literary machine has played in the WWW Literary Renaissance has been granting it a supreme credibility by completely ignoring it.
Over the past year it has been our extreme pleasure sharing the salt-tinged air with ye aboard the immaculate deck of this fine frigate, and we look forward to making literary history as we continue upon our unalterable, foreordained course. Whenever we have found ourselves in the doldrums, yer awesome email has always filled our sails, and this Captain declares that the spiritual currency yer responses have provided him are the greatest treasures that a young writer can possess.
So carve a pumpkin, print out Bootsy's revised and polished A Nantucket Ghost Story, call that special someone, and take 'em to yer favorite graveyard to read it to 'em. Bootsy's story is a contemporary ode to our immortal souls, and while this generation is ceaselessly told that we are but chemical reactions descended from apes, Bootsy's story demonstrates otherwise. Woe to those who seek the fleeting spiritual pleasures of the flesh, and disregard the judgment that is passed by God upon our immortal souls. Woe to those who create life by their adulterous actions, and murder that which they conceive. For as of late I have oft awakened to hear footsteps pacing the deck of The Jolly Roger in the middle of the night, and from the alternate disparity of the sound between the two steps, I know one leg to wear a shoe, and the other to be a lifeless stick. 'Tis Ahab's ghost, me maties. Halloween ushers in November, and November is the very same month that Ishmael trekked to Nantucket to sign his soul aboard the Pequod. Last night I saw Jefferson's ghost walking down Franklin Street, here in Chapel Hill, as a whirlwind of yellow leaves swirled 'round him. And I'm pretty sure I saw him tremble, while thinking that God is just, as he passed 'neath the traffic lights which were blinkin' yellow. The economy is robust, but there are those things which I could not find in Walmart the other day, like promises, character, trust, honesty, and faith. Now all these subtle signs may mean nothing to the postmodern scientific mind, but then the postmodern scientific mind may not be capable of Great Literature, and thus I do physics in the laboratory and navigate the Good Ship by God.
I really thought I was the only one. It is so good to know that there are other people out there who feel as I do and that we have a place to stand and UNITE! This is the best site I have ever seen and I could kick myself for not finding it sooner. You are such an eloquent writer, I think I love you!
Toni "York" Brannon
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Avast! The postmodern-vocal-minority-elite wish ye to think yer the only one, but like there're at least 10,000 others, and I have a hunch there are a few million more. It is this Ship's mission to find them, to sign their souls aboard, and take them to places where character matters in both novels and presidents, where marriages endure, where the young respect their parents, and parents respect the unborn. Avast! Woe to those who come between The Good Ship and her Purpose!
Hey! I totally loved Bootsy's story, "NANTUCKET GHOSTS"! Keep 'em comin'! -- Sarah
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Avast! As long as yer there, we'll be here!
Good job and a great story!
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Bootsy "Board 'Em in The Smoke" McCluskey says thank ye!
Glad I found you gentlemen. I've been a Raft fan ever since I found a tattered copy of the Afterdark Fieldbook tucked away in a corner of the UNC-Chapel Hill Student Bookstore. I actually saw Raft read some of his work at UNC, but it's been a long time.
As a student of literature, I agree with your dismal prognostication of what modern education is doing to letters. I was lucky enough to find an untenured professor who teaches on a volunteer basis who dared to open up the "secrets" of Plato, Aristotle, the Bible, Shakespeare, Descartes, and Machiavelli on their own terms. Unfortunately, this individual was the exception rather than the norm (as evidenced by the fact that I began to write my honors thesis on Milton until I found out my adviser wanted me to deconstruct Paradise Lost as a fable of misogynistic theocracy. Uh, no.
I am excited to work with you gentlemen in any way possible. I have a lot of experience writing, just for starters. I edited a libertarian journal for a yeat at UNC before being recruited by the Daily TarHeel editorial page, where I wrote for a year as a common-sense advocate of thinking and rapid opponent of stupidity (another exception, especially on the pages of the DTH), and later as an editorial writer and temporary editorial page editor. I have been published in the Washington Times, Reason Magazine, the American Enterprise and the Charlotte Observer.
I stand ready at attention, to fire the Canon, or at least to hoist a sail.
Cheers,
Tadd Wilson
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Send on the literature! We'll publish it in HATTERAS!
Obligatory Ahoy!
Well, I just finished reading this bit o' literature and I must say I'm quite happy with it. Don't really have much of interest to say, except to wonder if the line "I held the phone for awhile, trying to think of someone to call. No one came to mind" is a subtle tribute to the magnificent Bouncing Souls. Could this be the case, or am I just a lonely punk rock geek? You make the call. Keep up the splendid work, Mike
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Yer just a lonely punk rock geek, and we're proud to have ye aboard!
It is a comfort to learn that there are others that find it necessary to educate themselves outside of school. You are not alone.
Marcia St. Louis
Valhermoso Springs, Alabama
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: We were only ever alone when we were in the postmodern classroom! Avast!
dear sirs:
as an abd graduate student looking for employment in the professoriate, i have felt all alone on the hostile seas of liberalism. now, your beacon of light has given me hope! i was almost ready to chuck it all--the phd, the years of beating my head against the walls in the halls of academia, gagging down each issue of the chronicle--to become a bicycle mechanic. kudos to everyone involved in your efforts to provide some sense of balance in a world gone insane. god bless your souls. where can i sign up for your listserve?
eric berube
the claremont graduate school
THE CAPTAIN RESPONDS: Avast! God bless ye too, for ye have given us hope!
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